Out of Control (Erotic Shorts for the E-Reader) by Delilah Moon

First off, I really liked this story and I wanted to give it five stars. It was well thought out. Nothing felt stilted or incomplete (until the very end of the second story, where the writing felt a little rushed and sloppy). The scenes were HOT, the characters fairly well developed (especially considering the length of the story), and the flow was perfect for each half of the story (although the separate halves did not meld cohesively with one another–they were almost two completely different stories). Apart from this, the majority of my complaints all stem from the technical aspects of the author’s writing. Ms. Moon: Paragraphs should be indented and justified, scenes and chapter breaks need to be separated appropriately (using * * * for scene breaks, and chapter headings and page breaks for individual chapters), editing needs to be done (for instance, you have ‘tough’ written in instead of ‘touch’). You have a wonderful gift for story-telling, but you need to either take a class or pick up a book on how to write to get your formatting up to par. This was five-star story-telling, but your formatting and rough editing dragged it down to three.


Posted on April 27, 2012, in 3 Star Reviews. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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